Panic Blog

Copywriter: Cabel.

Yay! 4th of July Fireworks 2012!

Look, I’ll be honest, the selection wasn’t super great this year.

But I’m not going let that stop this critical annual tradition of me sharing my favorite fireworks packaging. If you haven’t, get up to speed with 2007200820092010, and 2011!

This year’s crop includes:

Confusing Euphemisms

Awkward Typos


An Eerily Accurate Look at Sandboxing (including the “Flaming Balls”)

Questionable Concepts

The formula for Barium Nitrate used as a decorative element? Why not

Old-Fashioned Copyright Infingement

To be fair, they did ‘shop out the nose ring

Low-Grade Racism

The Two Greatest Words Ever Combined Together

Advanced Irony

Elaborate Attempts to Capture Julian Assange

And Finally, the Most Brutally Honest Fireworks Packaging Image, Ever

Enjoy your 4th, everybody!

Posted at 3:06 pm 13 Comments

I want to be a pyro bear when I grow up.

George Hammerton

7/4/2012 3:24 PM

I really want to see the Poopy Puppy in action, I’m guessing the packaging is the most awesome part but heck, that’s good enough for me.

Cabel, we love you.

This one qualifies under an additional header other than just “Low Grade Racism”:

It’s also blatant copyright infringement:

I’m betting poopy puppy is just well-packaged snakes.

Design + Conquer

7/4/2012 7:33 PM

Cabel—would be amusing if Panic designed some faux firework packaging…we’re thinking a cross between ‘Sparkle My Mine’ and ‘Pyro Bear’ (with the inclusion of the ‘shoots flaming balls’ warning, of course). GO!

Sad there’s no GAUNTLET this year.

$89.99 for the Rip Rap Rush?! Will it burn forever whilst playing black music or why is it so expensive?


7/5/2012 1:24 AM

WTF??? Go to work dog flute

The fact that all of these say “SHOOTS FLAMING BALLS” at the bottom is just icing.


7/6/2012 4:52 PM

Still a pretty good collection!


7/8/2012 5:13 AM

world is sparta, sparta is the world !

Some of these were done by the same team that designs graphics accelerator card packaging. TURBO HOLOCAUST

Bandit Aerial Productions

10/13/2012 7:24 PM

Best fireworks stores online where the public can buy fireworks wholesale everyday. No 2 for 1 gimmicks or buy one get one garbage. Best prices on fireworks anywhere!